June 20, 2018 Original Post date
Sometimes I wonder if anyone else has spent their lives changing to fit situations and people. I'm feeling happy with this group, sad with that group, strong with another group. Though this is doable when do I just get to do me??
Photo by Andrew Bui on Unsplash
For me, becoming a chameleon has almost become a game. I sometimes test myself. Can I really do this to make this person happy?? Certainly, there is merit to being professional at work, respectful in religious or sacred settings and relaxed in other settings but I mean more changes than those things. I am a free-spirit! I love to laugh and smile and have a jolly good time. I don't drink or smoke (religious and personal reasons). I am also a free thinker. I try to allow others to be that way as well. I don't have to agree or understand entirely. I really believe my job is to love people no matter what our differences are.
With all of that said, I have been consistently surrounded by people who have to have complete control over me to feel secure. These have not all been men in romantic situations either. I'm just too bright. So, I trim my light. My brightness has to be hidden or at least matched to what they think it "should" be. What does that mean??? "Should be."
No matter how I try to trim my light, it always seems to find its way back to its original brightness and either it burns the controllers or they step back and let it SHINE!